Girl! You Doing too Much!

If I could be extremely honest with you, these past few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I’ve had so many different emotions and so many past hurts that I’ve had to process. Around this time in 2018, I lost two very important men and it totally changed my entire life. I went into a deep dark place and it took a while to start feeling like myself again. I started to feel that darkness again earlier this month. I started to get back into the gym in order to get some peace of mind. But peace was ever so elusive.
The more that I went to the gym, the more I started to hate my body. I couldn’t stop the negative thoughts about myself in my head. It began a horrible downward spiral. It started with my physical appearance and then I found myself getting frustrated with myself for having negative thoughts about myself. Then I was beating myself up about growing my business and for not having the energy to put into my business. Then I was mad at myself for not making a profit from my business and the list went on and on. It was like a bullet train that wouldn’t stop.

I stayed up late, trying to work on my business, trying to find a better job, and honestly scared to sleep due to an overwhelming amount of stress that I was under. I didn’t know what to do.
Slowly but surely, I started to give myself grace. I realized that sometimes you just have hard times. I can look back at this time and realize that I didn’t let myself get as far into the spiral as I have previously. I’ve made progress and that’s encouraging. I don’t need to be perfect all the time. I don’t need to constantly be striving for greatness in every single area of my life. Some days, striving for stability is enough.